Last day of the month...Finally. I'm busy as all get-out for the next month...I get a little downtime this weekend and then
going on Vacation next week and weekend to Big Bend. When I get back, I'm off to Augusta, GA for the Masters. I'll be there for 3 weeks, back
in A-town for about 10 days, then in Louisville for another 2 1/2 weeks. Not much time for hanging out.
Tomorrow, I'm starting a really big work project, and then hosting a golf tournament in the afternoon. After drinking all day with clients, then I'm
going to see my buddy's band, Alpha Rev, at Antones for their CD Release party. I can't wait til Saturday so I can sleep a little.
Anyways, boat will be in the water Sunday afternoon, so hit me up if you want to join...bring some beer!
I'm putting some cool stuff up on the blog today. Before we get to that, Luka was spade yesterday, and she's feeling terrible. She's moping around the house
all pissed off at me. I called Taryne last night (she manages a vet clinic) because Luka kept licking her stitches, so Taryne came over with a big ass medical collar for
her and now Luka is really hating me. Only a couple of days I think, then we can take it off.
Regarding the picture, can you imagine walking into your bathroom in the morning, hungover, and then just tripping out on this floor. Supposively it's painted, but
I think someone just photo shopped it together.
So, this is really cool...this time line shows the history of religion. Some of you may or may not know that I believe in a culmination of religions...I believe in one god, but don't discredit the rest of the world's beliefs as wrong or misled as many
christian churches in our society do. Anyway, watch this movie .....
I'm also adding a new video to the site today; a funny video you should watch that I call "Best Buy Boy".
Great, Fabulous, Awesome weekend! The 50 teenagers that we took out to Leakey had a blast and so did I. I'll post some pics of the weekend as soon as I download them, but in the meantime,
here is the only cell phone picture that I took of a few foreign exchange students.
With that said, I'm really happy to be involved again with the Rotary Youth Exchange Program. This weekend kinda reinvigorated me to do more with the kids and recruit in the Austin area.
Working my ass off today. I've got to get all of these college football contributions made before I leave this afternoon, and I keep getting interupted...so I decided
to take a moment to write in the blog. The Luka page should go up next week...Jenna took some amazing photos of her last weekend.
This is a cool picture that a client of ours sent after the Texas/Texas Tech game...we got him some great seats just behind the Texas Tech Bench.
Did you hear about white trash crazy Britney this week...Rehab 3 times in a week, and you got to check out the pictures on this site of Britney at her finest -
The girl is psycho...and she doesn't care who sees her screwing up. You can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out of the girl...that's
why I never dated women from East Texas...
Busy, Busy day. Running off to my Rotary meeting in a few minutes, then leaving for Leakey tomorrow. I get my boat next week...the weather has been great lately and the
lake if finally full again. Now, I just need a place to store it for a few weeks until I put it in my boat slip on Lake Austin. If you have a big yard or driveway in Austin, let me know.
You might get some VIP boat treatment out of the deal.
Nothing else to say today...everyone have a great weekend! I know I will.
Back from Kentucky. The Southwest Flights to Louisville are horrible. 3 Flights to get there, and 3 flights back. I woke up at 4:30 am yesterday and didn't get back to
Austin until 2:00pm. And to top that off, it was like 19 degrees and snow everywhere, but we got the office open and furnished for the most part.
I haven't written in nearly a week, and I have a lot going on, so I'll just summarize briefly (more of a calender for myself):
- Last Saturday, Taryne and Jenna came over and Jenna took about 200 photos of Luka...she will have her own page here soon
- Last Sunday, I woke up at 6:00 to get out to Louisville...drove around Kentucky a bit, nothing special
- Monday, Clark (our CFO) and I bought office furniture off of lousiville.craigslist.org, drove all around Indiana
and Kentucky picking it up to furnish our office located in Historic Jeffersonville, Indiana.
- Came back to Austin yesterday, hit up the office briefly, picked up Luka from Zach Mill's place, cooked dinner, and then met up with some friends at Cool River
for Fat Tuesday. I was tired, so I was asleep by 10:00pm...I know, I'm lame and can't party anymore
- Busy work Day today, help Cara move some of her stuff, take Luka to the Vet
- Going out tomorrow night
- Friday taking some Rotary exchange students to Leakey for a weekend training retreat
That's enough...I need a break now...and believe it or not, next week is worse.
I'm heading out on the road again, well just a short trip. I can't believe it, but all of my weekend's are fully booked up until mid-May. I'm going to be on the road about 5 weeks
over the next 8 to 9. I'll be in Louisville, KY this weekend through Tuesday. I'm opening up our office in preparation of the Kentucky Oaks and Derby.
Till, then, here is a funny story for you folks...
I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but
with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I
could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good
lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her
about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs.
She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment
but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant
relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing
series of events that she was planning very carefully.
Four months into
dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the
condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married
"for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks
she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on
her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I
was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who
can't think beyond their own uteri.
So I wait a couple of days to "think
about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should
have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She
goes completely batshit insane on me. There were the usual insults about my
manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was
loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She
leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing
It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I
was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the
vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a
"negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks.
Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other
documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to
communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that
we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.
I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of
jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a
new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.
She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks.
We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to
walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby
Well, she goes batshit insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her
plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh,
she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a
slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah,
yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for
her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask
her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit.
She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can
muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has
worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself
and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.
into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them
slowly and deliberately.
I tell her simply, "You're screwed".
Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have
I continue. "I am sterile"
Her look changes just a
bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic.
"You're full of shit. You're trapped and you know it."
I hold up the
letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy.
Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test
results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am
shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."
This woman is
not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshit, those are fakes."
I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is
from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind
of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to
prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."
the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each
passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake.
With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it
becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the
lawyer she is sobbing.
I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked
out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.
I never heard directly from this woman again. I did
hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the
real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women
stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for
thinking the best of American women.
The Moral of the Story -
Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
Happy Valentine's Day!
I've had the song Somebody's Baby by Jackson Browne, in my head all morning. It's the cheesy make-out song
from Fast times at Ridgemont High. Well, V-day is no big deal this year...no wife or girlfriend to share it with, so
I won't be making out with anyone.
Back from the Grammy's...had a blast. I also met my sister's boyfriend, Chris. He is a very nice guy and they are truely happy people.
I'll post some other Grammy pics on the Random Photos page soon...so check those out.
Most of the pictures of the actual awards suck cause I
was sitting in the upper deck and could only use my camera phone.
The pics and videos from the after party were pretty good.
So, what did I see and do at the Grammy's? Tim Donnelly called me up last Friday and told
me he was going as well. He and his date, Kristin, had a Limo which we took to the Grammy's and then around LA afterwards. The event itself is a huge concert...
the best stars playing for 3 1/2 hours. They only gave out around 10 awards for the actual TV airing...most of the awards are done earlier in the day. We arrived
around 4:30 and the TV airing concluded around 8:30pm. The performances were awesome. I saw Rascal Flatts, the Police, RHCP's, James Blunt...well, you probably watched it on TV
so you know. We then headed over to the Convention Center for the official after party. There were really cool Ice Bars, performers
dancing and hanging from the ceiling, bands playing (Cool and the Gang, Chaka Kang, etc), tons of food and open bar. After the party, we jumped back in the limo, and drove
around LA for awhile. I finally got home around 4:00am and crashed at my sister's place. I'm exhausted still...and I think I need to sleep for about a week to catch up.
Busy week and upcoming weekend. I'm flying out to LA in the morning. I still need to go buy some shoes to go with my suit. I've got to get Luka over to
Kris and Megan's sometime this afternoon or evening. Then, I have to start packing. I'm going out for a little while with Taryne, then back home to get some rest
before the big weekend.
Oh, and did I mention that I bought the boat? Yep, I flew to Dallas yesterday afternoon, test drove it, paid a deposit, then flew straight back to Austin.
I can't wait to get out on the lake this year!
I had a big ol juicy Rib Eye Steak last night over at Little Woodrows. Every Wednesday, they have "Steak Night", the only time that they serve food.
It was my first time to participate, but won't be the last...that steak was awesome!
The weather is horrible today, (about 45 degrees as I write), but it has been rockin' for the past week...it was nearly 80 degrees yesterday so I took Luka for a run. I'm going to try to start running about 10 miles
per week again. If I'm getting a boat this summer, I need to get back in shape.
Can't wait for the spring...afternoons on the lake, Sunday's at Hamilton Pool, Happy Hour at Dry Creek. Austin is a great
place to live in the spring.
So, it's that time of the year again...time for a new boat. I found the one I want, a Tige 22v, and I think I can get it cheap enough to afford.
Shane Hill is thinking about going in on it with me...well
the boat lift anyway. It's in Dallas, so I've got to get up there soon to test drive if I want it...thinking about tomorrow or Friday.
The boat is loaded with a kick-ass stereo system, tower speakers, transom remote, dual batteries, and seats 13 people with the wrap-around seating. It's a steal as well,
so if I'm going to pull the trigger, I've got to do it quick...before I go to LA this weekend probably.
Chicago Choked. All they had to do was limit their turnovers to 3, and they probably would have won.
Peyton just isn't that good...All in All, what a boring Super Bowl.
Well, my highlight of this week will be going to LA on Saturday, then the Grammy Awards on Sunday. I'm going by myself and staying with my sister in Burbank. I'll get to finally
meet her boyfriend, Chris, and then probably go out Saturday night. If anyone wants to go, I have an extra seat for $700.
Day of the Big Hunt...no guns today, just dogs, knives, and hogs. Alex asked if he could bring his AK-47...what is he? a little terrorist? Can't Wait!
Looks like my Super Bowl bet will be good after all...let's hope. My numbers are NFC - 1, AFC - 3. If the score ends with those numbers for each team, then I win big this year. Chuck Odem
is in on the Super Bowl squares with me. Wish us Luck! If I win, that's a new boat!
I didn't end up going out last night. Charlotte and Amber had their days wrong, so they were out from the get go. Then, I started watching some DVR programs on the couch, and
was out like a light. Probably better since this weekend will be one long party with the Super Bowl.
A new month, so I have a quote for the day - "When Guys go Bad, They go Bad."
I just got off the phone with a guy from
New Jersey, and that's what he was telling me about a guy that we just sent $2500 to for a Super Bowl bet. Hopefully, we're just talking
and he didn't really "Go Bad"...I'll keep you informed.
Anyway, going to see a friend of mine from high school, Scott Rotge,
play downtown tonight. I think that some other friends from H.S., Charlotte and Amber, are coming with me.
If you know of anyone that wants to buy some land in Westlake School District, point them my way...I have two residential lots, not cheap though, that are for sale. They're located off of Cuernavaca which has
private Lake Austin access as well.